Blog - Margaret Meloni

Meet Hatred with Love

Hatred is, indeed, never appeased by hatred in this world. It is appeased only by compassion. This is the eternal truth (Dhamma).
From the Dhammapada, Verse 5

Let’s meet hatred with love and compassion.

Some days meeting hatred with love means saying, “I disagree with your opinion, but I support your right to your opinion”.
Other days meeting hatred with love means keeping silent because your compassion cannot find a path from your heart to your mouth.

Some days meeting hatred with love means listening to someone tell you why they hate foreigners or members of a particular race or religious group.
Other days meeting hatred with love means telling someone why you refuse to hate foreigners or members of a particular race or religious group.

Some days meeting hatred with love means voting with your wallet and refusing to support organizations who participate in discrimination.
Other days meeting hatred with love means meditating on your own biases, because everyone has some degree of bias.

Some days meeting hatred with love means standing up to a friend or family member, even when it is difficult to do so.
Other days meeting hatred with love means reaching out to those who are victims of hateful speech or hate crimes.

On no day does meeting hatred with love mean responding with violence or cruelty.

But every day is an opportunity to meet hatred with love.

By Margaret Meloni Leave a Comment

Are You Telling Stories?

Not long ago, Lori Lee from Love Your Story; helped us to understand the power of using stories to help inspire our team members. It can be so challenging to create the energy, enthusiasm and commitment to move forward with a project. After all, YOUR project is not the only project people are working on

And why should YOUR project be the reason that they miss another family dinner or evening out with friends?

While Lori reminds us that storytelling is an ancient craft, it is just as powerful today as it was so long ago. I will always remember one of my favorite people. A well-seasoned Information Technology guy who had done it all and seen it all. He was unimpressed by MOST of the people and projects around him. Yet one day, he came to me excited about a new project. This was very unusual. He proceeded to tell me all about the kick-off meeting. Now, that was funny, he HATED ALL MEETINGS.

But at this meeting, the project sponsor attended and told the team the story of how the idea for this project came about. He told the story of what would be different when this project would be completed. He showed pictures of the new product that customers would fall in love with. And with that, my well-seasoned IT guy fell in love with the project.

Today, with special thanks to Lori, I would like to share with you my guest appearance on her Love Your Story podcast. Where she graciously allowed me to share my story of learning how to tell stories. At first, I was definitely NOT a natural.

Listen now by visiting

www.loveyourstorypodcast.com/episode-43-interview-margaret-meloni-transitioning-story-business

And to revisit Lori’s guest blog post on pmStudent, please visit: www.pmstudent.com/upon-time-not-just-kids-anymore

Wishing you all interesting stories!

By Margaret Meloni Leave a Comment

One Small Change Equals One Big Deal

“How could changing a few words in one simple sentence lead to such an uproar?” June thought, incredulous at how upset some of her members were with her. All she had done was update a sentence or two in one of the high-level requirements. It had been a last minute change that she included just before she sent the document off for approval. Her only purpose in making the change was to improve the document. As the project manager, she did not think that she needed to run every single word she wrote by her team.

June had sent the final version of the document out last evening just before she went home. It was now barely 10 am the next day, and she had received negative feedback from more than half of her team members. It was not until Peter, her project sponsor stopped by that June began to understand that perhaps her improvements were not such a great idea.

“June, part of me wants to sign this charter. “ Peter said. “But I cannot sign it with a clear conscience because you and the team cannot deliver what you promised.”

“What do you mean?” asked June.

Peter outlined the problem for June:

“The draft that we agreed upon made this statement: The project team will answer business unit questions related to product enhancements and investigate potential issues reported to them by the business unit during the product roll out.

You changed that to say: The project team will answer all product-related questions and provide full support to the business unit during the product roll out. Do you understand the difference?”

June replied that she thought that the updated sentence was more concise and better-expressed support of the product and the business unit. Peter agreed that the updated sentence indicated better support of the business unit. In fact, it expressed support that June’s team would not customarily provide. The reason that June’s team was freaking out was that her updates placed them entirely into the product support role. The business unit owned support of the product; the team helped them with questions and issues as the business unit became comfortable with the enhancements.

It was then that June had an epiphany. In her attempt to put her stamp on the requirements, she had changed the meaning and the intention of those requirements. No wonder her team was so upset by her updates. If Peter had signed the document, her team would have been committed to providing services that they could not and should not provide.

June thanked Peter profusely and went off to call her team together to offer her apologies.

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By Margaret Meloni Leave a Comment

Silence is NOT Always Golden

“Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.” – G.B. Stern

Have you ever heard this from a leader?

“If I do not yell at you, it means you are doing a good job. Go about your business and be happy that I am not yelling at you.”

“You get paid for being here; I have not said you are doing a bad job; what do you want from me?”

What some people want is to know that their efforts are appreciated. This is not an unreasonable request.

This might be a good time to consider whether or not this individual is really a leader or are they simply someone with a title and a higher position on the organizational chart?

Less hostile, but still not exhibiting strong leadership is the person who simply assumes that you know that you are appreciated. They never express it, because you should just know. As-If you are capable of mind reading.

Some people are not just motivated by salary, advancement and challenging opportunities. Some people receive more value from positive reinforcement and recognition than they do from a monetary reward.

A sincere thank you goes a long way. Tell your team members and colleagues that you appreciate them. Be specific. To say, “I appreciate you,” is good. To say, “I appreciate the way in which you are able to redirect our executive team when they get off track,” is better. It is always good to take the opportunity in the moment to let someone know when he or she exhibit a skill or do something special that you appreciate.

Appreciation is an important part of your communication plan. Consider placing reminders in your communication plan to show appreciation to your team. This could be a special day when you bring in treats just because or you write them notes describing something that you appreciate about them. Maybe you have a surprise pizza party.

Whatever you decide to do, don’t keep your appreciation to yourself. This is not the time to be quiet!

By Margaret Meloni Leave a Comment

Are YOU a Yes Person or a NO Person?

It was almost comical to watch the debate rage on.

Ginny looked at Sal and said, “Your problem is that you think everything is possible. That anything can be done.”

Sal laughed and replied, “Well, your problem is that you think nothing can be done. Your first response to everything is no.”

Watching on the sidelines, Mary Carol began to see that both were making valid points. She also began to see that Ginny and Sal came from two very different perspectives.

When a new idea was presented to the team, Ginny immediately began to discuss why the idea was wrong or impossible or impractical. She looked for the flaws. Sometimes those flaws were actually due to her professional preferences or weaknesses. If she did not like the idea of doing something or she did not know how to do something, then she would state that it was a bad idea. Mary Carol thought of Ginny as a ‘no person’, someone who comes from a place of negative responses.

Sal responded to new ideas with brainstorming how those new ideas could become reality. He looked for ways to make things happen. He liked change and he liked to shake things up and he disliked the status quo. Sometimes this was a strength and other times it was a weakness. It could lead Sal to suggest change just for the sake of change. Mary Carol thought of Sal as a ‘yes person’, someone who comes from a place of positive responses.

Because Ginny tended to blurt things out in an unconstructive manner, she was often harder to listen to. Sal had a calmer and less abrasive way of making his point.

Listening to their debates was not always comfortable, or fun. Sometimes their back and forth devolved into unproductive arguing. Both of their opinions were important. Generally, they could be facilitated back to useful discussion.

And at the end, after the ‘no person’ had her say and the ‘yes person’ made his points, the team was usually able to come up with a working approach.

We need all types, the yes, the no and the maybe.

Meet Hatred with Love

Are You Telling Stories?

One Small Change Equals One Big Deal

Silence is NOT Always Golden

Are YOU a Yes Person or a NO Person?

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