Practice tips. The rain analogy is right on as here in SoCal we just had so much rain. Rain that we desperately needed. Yet, some people were really troubled by the rain. There was
much discussion around the rain, how it spoiled outdoor activities etc. None of the complainings did anything to change the situation. Other than to make those who dislike the rain have even stronger reactions.
In grief, and in facing life’s difficulties, you can really save yourself some suffering when you practice acceptance.
Denial causes more pain. If you can accept the fact that your loved one is dead, or that someone you care about is terminally ill, you are reducing your suffering. Of course, you are sad and you will miss the people who die. But denial is increasing your suffering. Denial is taking you down a path where you experience the pain of fighting against how things are, and then eventually you lose that fight. And then you have the pain that comes from your loss. The sooner you face your loss, the better.
So much time is lost on, “Me me me, why me?” To accept how things are is an important step to moving forward. Whether it’s spending more time indoors because there is actual rain, or accepting that your life is different than you anticipated and creating a full life with what you have.
Acceptance does not mean that you will not change or grow. Acceptance means starting from where things are, and how things are, and moving forward to whatever is next.