When his father died, Venerable De Hong shed many tears. When his mother died, he also cried. They died many years apart. But, the difference in the grief he felt is not just due to his own progression on the path. It is that and so much more.
When you are a child, and someone you love and trust abuses you. You feel trapped. When your abuser dies, you are free. Once you process the trauma that came from the abusive relationship, you are truly free.
The grief you feel when your loved ones die is directly related to the relationship you had when you both were living.